We are a family!

We are not your typical family...but none the less we ARE a family.

Our lives revolve around keeping some sense of normalcy even when we things around us get out of control. Organization and schedules consume the way we do things but without these it would be total chaos.

We teach our children life skills and have them participate in things that other children do despite their disabilities. I have learned that all our children CAN and WILL and WANT to do what we all do even if they can't do it perfectly. I find myself adapting and breaking things down in to little steps so that my kids can feel worthwhile and have success. Success in anything brings self confidence and I'm happy to say that most of our children have self confidence in most things.

We occasionally get the finger points...the stares...the negative comments...or people who will shun and walk away from us, but mostly we are greeted with smiles and references to having beautiful children. You see...there are a few things that I do NOT adapt or accept and that's being disrespectful/impolite/andpoor behavior. I never excuse rudeness...or use the phrase, "he/she can't help it." Sure, our children all came from experiences that have made them view things differently and will often react to things in a way that's less than desireable. I understand that...and acknowledge it, but I do NOT excuse it. Harsh? Perhaps...but if you allow an abused child to feel as if they are excused for such behavior without ever expecting more from them...or they expecting more for themself...it becomes too easy for them to stay the victim and never get beyond.

My children all have things they do around the house and all particpate in making this a family. They are all expected to keep their rooms neat (just as any other child would.) They are expected to clean their own place setting, putting dishes in the sink or dishwasher. They assist in recycling jobs, setting the table for our family meals and caring for their own personal possessions. It takes them a bit longer to catch on...and often we do things repeatedly for months and months before they are finally able to do it on their own, but the bottom line is they do it. They gain a sense of worth and unity for helping. What one of my children can't do...the other helps with and visa versa. For instance...Gracie can buckle her own seat belt, but Priscilla can't (due to her vision and poor fine motor skills) so Gracie helps her sister. Priscilla helps Gracie by ensuring her safety while walking to school. Even though Priscilla doesn't see well and uses a cane...she is FAR safer and has a good sense of safety around driveways and cross streets and will hold Gracie back from just walking out in front of vehicles. Lindsay has the poorest sense of safety and somehow...Armani knows this and although he is the youngest...he's more aware and will look out for his older sister. There is a sense loyalty and love with my kids that goes beyond culture difference/disabilities or age.

I love taking my kids out for outings. We often go out to eat at restaruants. We are quite a crew to walk through and get many stares. We all hold our heads high and smile politely. Some of my children will actually reach out to someone who they may hear making a comment and give them a hug or say "hi." They don't know or understand that often these people are not being kind, but I can assure you that after they do this...those same people smile in awe of my kids. They each know how to order from a menu (even if it's to point at pictures) and I encourage them to do this so they develop skills they can use later. They ALWAYS thank the waitress for bringing their plate of food and many MANY times before we leave, someone has come up to us to inform us that our children are well behaved and well mannered. We've had those who will request to sit somewhere different for fear of being "too close" to us as if we have something contageous...or fear that our kids will be loud and unruly. I understand their apprehension because truly we do not LOOK like your normal family. However...once they see everyone sitting politely with hands in their laps...or us talking to them most will turn away and go about their own business. I guess at that point, we aren't interesting enough...(giggling.)

Going to a grocery store is often fun. I bring the kids and partner them up and give them their own list of things to find. It's fun...but also a learning experience. They learn to match pictures with items...find things or remember where to find things...AND they shop for the family and help me out. Rarely is anything done without the kids getting something out of it.

So...we may not be your typical family...but WE ARE A FAMILY. We have values and morals and we all help each other.